Loving a Lie

What would you do if you woke up one day to learn the past decade of your life had been a lie?

One day I woke up and that is what took place when I married a fictitious guy.

Married thirteen years you think there is no way…

Well I am proof there is and it still haunts me to this day.

Some would think I’m crazy how could I have not known.

Well when your married to a narcassist then your life becomes their own.

They suck you in promising you the moon and stars.

All the while conforming to who you want and not to who they really are.

They are so good at telling fictacious tales they believe them to be true.

Lying about everything just to sink their hook in you.

After the hook is sunk they will reel you on in.

At this point your clueless thinking this is the one to win.

You become the bait stuck inside the trap.
Now by this point there ain’t no turning back.

Soon the mask will get slowly peeled away.
Your then hit blindsided left wondering what you should do or say.

They try to convince you that you are the cause of all their actions.

All the abuse is because you didn’t act right and this is a normal reaction.

They demeanor nag and constantly put you down.

Until you believe it and are left with no self worth anywhere to be found.

Isolated, rejected, criticized, mentally, physically, emotionally.

Your no longer yourself and can’t even think rationally.

Stripped bare not from clothes, rather from feeling because the abuse leaves you numb.

Life as you knew it is gone and no longer fun.

This man you loved being replaced with a controlling abusive jealous angry and selfish person you do not know.

Deep inside you want out but hold onto the one you feel in love with and just can’t let go.

Laying awake at night silently crying for fear you will be found.

Too scared to move or breathe for fear he will hear the sound.

Praying to God to help you find the strength you need to leave..

Knowing if you don’t escape it is death that you shall receive.

The only way to break free from a narcassist is by him finding the love of another so he moves on or by death.

For if he does not find another to feed his hunger he won’t let you go so he would rather there be nothing of you left.

I was lucky he found another to keep his hunger fed.

Tossed aside as if I was trash just like that.

But I can honestly say thank you for setting me free and giving me my life back!

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15 Comments

  1. I woke up after about 14 years…and took another 5 years to finally get out. After I left, she found her first love, the one she’d been looking for all our married life. She told me, “If I’d found him before you left me, I’d have left you. Your words are spot on.

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    1. I am sorry to hear that you had to go through this too. Life is too short to be wasted let alone be wasted because of somebody else’s poor choices. Or actions. Time heals all wounds and you deserve to find someone who is just as special as you. Dont ever give up! Thanks for reaching out to me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad to see someone else writing about this and being an example. I did get out. I survived. I got married again and it’s a night/day situation; same family…much different results. It’s been an incredible ride, unlearning my bad behavior and learning how to react correctly again.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I married my ex-wife’s niece…I know, it sounds creepy, but the story is far from that. I’ve never been this happy (almost 4 years married) and neither has she. She was married to a narcissistic man and survived. We’ve helped to heal each other in the process.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That is amazing! I like to hear about Happy Endings! Good Luck to you and her both! I am rooting for you on the sideline. Every one deserves to find that kind of relationship!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I agree. It seems to run (gallop) in her family. Her mom and my ex were sisters and I know it is learned behavior. Their mother was as well, but she was working on changing (thru help at church) before she passed. Was too late for the children and they went on to wreck and ruin a number of good men, myself included. I’m glad it wasn’t passed on to my wife. Now I protect her from her mother, limiting access to what my wife wants to give. I’m her windshield, her bug screen and her protector when she asks me to do so. I will not let her mother sink her claws into her again; and she is thankful for my leadership and protection. We live across the street from her and she still sees precious little of her daughter (my wife) and that’s how my wife likes it, in small doses.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Small doses and a strong army of wisdom will see you all through. Family is still family despite their shortcomings. Sounds like you are both on the right track and her mom should be thankful for you, although more then likely unfortunately she will see it differently. That’s neither here nor there however the only ones it really matters too is you and your wife and it sounds like you guys already know the truth. May others learn grow and benefit from this happy ending!

        Liked by 1 person

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